A Christmas Bindu

January 4th, 2010

binduOn December 19 Bobby, my friend Karyn and Arnel and I headed to Healthy Family Farm… a farm that Bobby and I have invested in to model what it means to support a true healthy farm where animals goats, chickens, turkeys, lambs, pigs, horses and Scottish cows are treated with love and compassion. We believe in the power of the small farm and how this country was built on farming. The farmer used to be a huge part of a thriving society. Now big business has over run the family farm and to find good healthy farms is a rarity. We believe that being connected in some way to a farm or a local farmers markets is a strong message that you care about your food, where it comes from and you care about who is providing nourishment for you.

So the journey to the farm was set with the intention to show friends how important and wondrous our farm is… We pulled up to the big barn where the goats get milked and where raw cheese and yogurt is made…. Bindu (the now famous yorkie) jumped out of the Mini into a dangerous land… immediately there were paws, legs and hooves abundantly circling us and particularly interested in Bindu. Bindu in general thinks of himself as a large dog… he growls at Great Danes and gives Dobermans a hard time but never before had he encountered so many beasts at one time…

The 3 or 4 Pyrenees mountain dogs whom watch out for the cows and lambs came for a sniff joined by a pit bull and a Staffordshire terrier that had been fighting the night before and had cuts to show for it. Then came the 2 Emus, which are new to the farm… I had never seen an Emu up close they look like ostriches yet dark grey and particularly curious…One thought Bindu was the most fascinating creature he had ever seen… he kept stretching his long neck towards Bindu’s face which sent the mighty Yorkie into the high grass in a way we had never seen before… he looked like a whirling dervish in a frenzy of exhilaration. When he made his way back to our feet he had a look of a creature deeply spooked…his mouth was wet with nervous saliva and his eyes were round brown orbs looking for refuge… Arnel kept picking him up… giving him rest from the animal attack.

Bobby and I thought it would be good if Bindu was on the ground often so that he could get used to the farm animals, dogs and cats that were wandering about…we knew that we would be back often and we wanted him to get comfortable in this new environment. Yet whenever any one of us put him back on the ground he dashed in circular motions looking for safety.

We wandered towards where the horses and lambs are held passing pigs and goats along the way… Bindu was not a fan of the goats at all as they tried to nibble at him like a Saturday afternoon snack… so I watched him closely as we passed. We came to the pasture where Sunny, a horse whom had been rescued a few months prior came galloping to us…he runs free like the Emus do in certain areas of the farm… Sunny was healthy and strong contrary to his weakened scrawny body of before… we were delighted to see him so much better.. Sharon the farm owner ( and amazing woman) takes in many animals otherwise neglected and near death and nurses them back to health. Bindu was not at all happy with the grand entrance Sunny made… he came on too fast… his hooves like crushers from above… the ponies came too. From Bindu’s point of view his world had become a sea of legs hooves tails and growls… He made a leap for Arnel’s lap and looked at me pleadingly. It was time to move on.

I figured he was safe in Arnel’s care as we moved towards the chicken coop to check out all the happy truly free-range chickens bound around their particularly stinky area. Bobby went into the coop first then Arnel put Bindu down and I joined the coop… I raised chickens when I was 18 for a summer and find them funny to watch… we all squawked in harmony… laughed and moved towards the turkeys. The males look fake with their iridescent gobbles and goofey faces. We made bad turkey jokes and mocked their heavy struts.

Bobby and I had an appointment in town…We had played with Sharon, and the animals a little too long and had to return to Santa Monica 60 minutes away… and we had 45 minutes to get there on time… we ran back to the car and immediately asked “where’s Bindu?” That was the beginning of the search.

It seemed surreal that we had lost him out of thin air… We went over his face and scared looks in our minds and we both felt guilty that we had not paid closer attention to his fears. The last anyone had seen him was right before we entered the chicken coop.

Farm hands told us that he must have been so spooked that he was hiding with the kittens under the barn or that he had jetted into the wild lands at the back of the property. Everyone searched everywhere. Bobby climbed under the house and I tried to scope out the kittens under-barn habitat. Sharon’s kids took up the search on horse back and in trucks. Bobby and I trekked into the hills screaming his name while cows mooed annoyingly back at us… they found the whole search a disruption of their peaceful farm life. 8 hours we searched the hills, coops, barns and neighbor’s property. The kids swore they saw him once and others said they heard him bark but I never could feel him anywhere close yet I didn’t know where else to look…

Periodically I broke down as I thought maybe a hawk or coyote had taken my little friend. My gut said he was alive but where was he? Bindu was not one to hide under barns, in caves or under brush… he is by nature social and loves to be with us AT ALL TIMES… so the idea of him taking off never felt right to me.

I was not new to losing dogs I had lost plenty to predators and the highway when I was young in Idaho but Bindu had been my loyal partner for ten years and though I had had 6 dogs only 2 years ago… after my divorce I ended up with him alone… he was my sage… a calm heartbeat that I rest my hand on when things got rough or when things were good I could share my joy with him… he looked deep into my eyes and he knew me and I knew him… (a little AVATAR thrown in) I was heart broken at the thought of losing him… In his nine days away I longed for his little body in my lap as I sat in silence in my garden meditating early in the morning.

We left the farm well into the darkness not believing that he was really gone…. Bobby held me close when I broke down on the drive home… I kept looking for his little face in the back…it was all a big “Bindini” joke and he was hiding in the car.

When we woke up on Sunday morning we made a pact to see Bindu as returned healthy and happy… Bobby is a no nonsense man…change your focus and behave the way you want things to be and take action… from then on I only cried in the bathroom or in my garden alone and yet together we put on happy faces THE GREAT BINDU or the GREAT WINDINI would soon return to us. Seeing him as healthy and returned was the answer… we were guided by many and to hold him close in our heart that he was alive and well…

It felt like he was still around and that if he was at the farm he had found a nice warm spot to shelter himself… so we headed up again to spend the night at the farm in Bobby’s Truck with the windows down in order for Bindu to smell us… we placed his bed on the ground and wrote a note that welcomed him home… (on the suggestion of a pet psychic… what the hell, we were willing to try anything).

I had been receiving wonderful encouragement from my twitter followers and it seemed everyone was pulling and praying for Bindu. The night was cold and Sunny, the spooker was running free that night. Bobby and I watched a film on my computer before sleeping and in a particularly silent part of the film we heard a HUGE blast of air released…a fart to be precise… it went on for at least 5 full seconds … It was crazy loud and a great tension reliever… We laughed hard… I think that was one of the first true laughs I had had in days… I hoped the horse wasn’t sending Bindu further away but also thought that maybe our laughter would draw him to us… we laugh a lot and Bindu was always a part of our joy.

I woke up early to scout the hills again but no luck…it just didn’t feel like he was outside. I really began to feel that he had been dog-napped.

We then made posters… actually our friend Lee Hiller made them and they were fantastic… we put a big money reward on them. I imagined that anyone who had him was surprised that he didn’t act like a puppy and was set in his ways and would reconsider keeping him.

Then came a twitter message from @jenuinehealing… she is an intuitive healer. She sent a message and said she thought she saw Bindu in a garage of some sort and he was fine but greasy … she felt that whomever had him was a mechanic … I had many psychic messages from followers hunches and feelings and I appreciated the energy and felt comforted by them but it wasn’t until Jen’s was I moved to respond. She left her number so Bobby and I called her and on the way to posting signs… she told us that Bindu was fine but unhappy with his food and didn’t like that the kids were teasing him… she felt that Bindu had been taken by garage worker and that his wife and kids had no idea the dog’s predicament and that they likely spoke little English. Though this message was coming from across the country both of us felt moved when she told us. Jen was telling the truth… we felt it. Understand that Bindu is very particular about his food… we feed him raw chicken, beef, and salmon…and he loves raw cheese and milk… He likes his bites of sourdough bread and raw butter as well…not to mention his passion for Bobby’s pizza…he had become a spoiled foodie dog…the idea that he was disgruntled with his food made perfect sense. Kids trying to make him play like he was a puppy was also a sign of Jen tuning into Bindu’s personality. After all Bindu is 10 years old and frankly little kids annoy him. Jen’s “story” hit us both in the heart. We informed Sharon and her workers what we had heard and had them put the word out to everyone in Wheeler canyon… so with posters on trees and inside mail boxes we felt it was just a matter of time…

Jen kept reassuring us in tweets and on calls that Bindu was still okay and yet she had felt that the family was worried and superstitious and that having taken Bindu was a bad omen for them. She sent reassuring and healing messages to the “family” that they were safe to return him and nothing bad would happen… day after day went by and still we all felt Bindu was getting closer… if only energetically.

On December 27th Bobby, Arnel and I went climbing in Malibu canyon… it was cold and damp but the routes were fun and challenging. I started the day on my first lead climb… the rocks were covered with moss and I promptly fell after only a few moves. I cut my right leg but kept going till there was no moving past the moss without slipping and falling again. We spent a few hours climbing… first me then Bobby then Arnel… It was fun though I often would look to the rock base where Bindu normally would be… curled up in a frigid little ball until we were done…When we were too chilled to go any longer we packed up and went to lunch. Then I got a call and the woman on the other end said she had found a small yorkie just minutes ago on the road near where the farm was… she said “she” was fine… I asked “are you sure it’s my dog? Bindu is a boy”… oh she hadn’t really checked but the name on the tag was Bindu and this was the number… Elated I said that I would be there as soon as I could leave Malibu, get to my house and change cars…a matter of a couple of hours since it was along drive…

YIPPEE and all smiles…I immediately Tweeted that we had found him… Bobby thought I should have waited until he was in our arms before I made an announcement… Oops I already had informed at least 270 thousand followers… There was such tremendous love and support from them I couldn’t resist and besides it had become a miracle Christmas story.

Giggling and excited we drove TOO FAST to the farm… we sang oldies loud and screeched into wheeler canyon like bandits… it was dark… the road seemed longer then when we were there only days ago… The woman who had called had Bindu in her arms at the door… he squeaked in recognition. Just like you would imagine I cried and wanted to hear the story of finding him… another gal from Santa Paula had come up the canyon in the late afternoon to ride her horse and she simply saw Bindu running up the road, stopped and picked him up. She brought him to where she rides at her friend’s house…. They were aware of the reward and I must say she seemed overwhelmed with joy at the prospect of being able to cure her sick horse with the money… she cried and gave both of us hugs of gratitude.

The fact is we have no idea who actually had Bindu for nine days is disconcerting yet we still “feel” that what we learned from Jen was true. We think that the family returned Bindu to the road where they had originally found him. He was greasy and timid but not skinny or hurt so he had definitely been taken care of.

Now the Great Bindu eats his bones and licks the raw butter off bites of his sourdough bread… (little carb addict)… he is back on my lap when the sun comes over the hill to warm my face and his small body… he again looks into my eyes… where he has been we will never really know but he is happy to be home and we are overjoyed to have him back… we are also more careful to take heed our little furry man’s messages…

We took a New Years eve hike… under the blue moon… he moved fast as a mouse and we watched him closely… He curled up in Bobby’s shirt in the freezing air while we made our 2010 goals in front of the fire. We both smiled knowing that Bindu is home wherever we are… atop a mountain…at a farm…under a rock or in the kitchen near the Christmas tree. HOME… Bindu is HOME!!!

I really want to say thank you to everyone including @jenuinehealing, @jravenhawk, @leehiller, @ricklondon, @Adamfyre, @Alyssa_Milano, and many more twitter followers/friends and all my non twitter friends… Karyn, Arnel, Lisa, Bobby’s family and of course Langley and Dree and all others who helped us find Bindu or anyone who sent their love support and condolences… I am humbled by your support. You all made this a holiday miracle for my family!

journal , , ,

Becoming, Laughing, and Being Me

October 20th, 2009

I have played more laughed more and shifted more into who I am and who I have wanted to be in the last 6 months than any other time in my life…

18 months ago I left a long marriage… I had a short relationship afterwards that was meaningful and helped me see myself… I see that my own voice and instinct are key to my happiness… I have learned that love has many forms and there is a stage and place for all of them…

I have grown into knowing where my guidance comes from and that Nature is my only Guru… I realize that I don’t need to be validated by others in order to feel good about myself…  I am more present…The irony is that this awareness has always been in me and yet as the layers of self-understanding are revealed I see I have been just shy of living honestly as myself…

Who I am becoming is authentic… I am not always balanced, without old patterns, or following my inner voice completely but the percentage of time that I do I feel grounded and grateful.

I know without a doubt that the journey has no end game and that the only thing to be relied upon is truth…. How can I find it, live it and feel it within me daily? It is coming through how I live my life.

I am in love and consequently I am falling in love with my life… I am at ease in my skin… I have become playful and free… More than anything my freedom is the biggest gift my lover has unveiled in me… I always knew it was something I longed for but I never knew what it felt like… It seems that my old life patterns of how I was as a woman, a mother and an intimate partner have been undone… I am no longer the result of expectations, beliefs in the way things should be, unfulfilled dreams or funky genetics. It is not that I have no more work to do or that I am given license to not pay attention… it is that I am no longer ruled by what is not congruent with my sense of self any longer.

There is no question that I have found a partner, a lover and a playmate to grow with…  He sees me and I him… He is an extraordinary human being whom I am honored to know. I don’t need or want to change him and he never tries to change me… still we are inspired to be better for one another and more importantly for ourselves.

I have always heard that when you love someone that you want to be a better person because of him/her. For me this means that I want to be a better me and yet HE inspires me to show up and do it. With him I see that the journey of awareness is not a lonely one.  We are simply sharing our path with one another while being true to ourselves…

I have played the martyr in the past and though I never wanted to be one it was my habit and my upbringing… the most troubled in my family got the most attention… I just pretended I was okay with the pain… I mirrored that behavior for many years. Now I am watching this pattern of “poor me” fall away. Nothing about being needy interests me nor my boyfriend at all. We don’t support or acknowledge much that doesn’t serve our individual authenticity. We are in fact healthy together.

The best part is we have fun… REAL FUN! …  When I say we laugh… I mean it… everyday we laugh so hard that I can feel years of tension and age drop from my whole being.  We play hide and seek… We sing songs loudly and out of tune… We speak gibberish and do cartwheels in the sand. We dance like rappers, sexy disco singers and four year olds… all the while we laugh like there is nothing more important than just that… we laugh that we laugh and we sometimes wonder why we have so much fun… A child laughs over 300 hundred times a day and the average adult laughs less than 15… this is hugely responsible for how I am more alive today than ever before. I choose to laugh… play… love and be childlike… I am grateful that I can share it with someone as silly as me…

I love being in love and I cherish that everyday it deepens…. I adore feeling his love for me too. We are alike in so many ways and different in all the right ones…. I think we show our love through playing the most. Yet sometimes there is long unbroken silences that speak volumes to how we feel about each other.

Everyday is a day to choose how I live…in fun… in laughter… in connection to my teachers …nature, my man, my daughters and friends and of course myself.

journal

New Series, "Posers" by Yogamatic

September 14th, 2009

Posers is a new series from the people at Yogamatic.

You can see more excerpts here.

Posers_poster

journal , , ,

National Yoga Month and Global Mala!

August 20th, 2009

Sept. 20 Yoga Month and Global Mala Celebration, Los Angeles – FREE EVENT

Join 1,008 yogis celebrating 108 sun salutations Sept. 20 at HAX hangar (near LAX). The FREE yoga and conscious music festival features yoga teachers Mariel Hemingway, Sara Ivanhoe, Mark Blanchard, Saul David Raye, Beth Shaw, Hemalayaa, Hala Khouri, Kia Miller and kirtan musicians Govindas and Radha, Tony Khalife, Travis Eliot, Zat Baraka, Michael Perricone. Enjoy free yoga classes at the LA YOGA stage, exhibits, healthy food, entertainment, kids and family fun.

www.yogamonth.org/LA

events ,

American Renewable Energy Day

August 18th, 2009

Thursday-Saturday August 20-22, 2009 Aspen, CO

www.areday.net

The Problem IS the Solution: Wall St. meets Green St. – Creating the New Energy Economy

AREDAY: Since 2004 bringing leaders and educators together to promote the rapid implementation of renewable energy and energy efficient strategies as practical solutions to the climate crisis throughpresentation, performance, film and dialogue.

Thursday, 8/20, 9:30 AM
Women Powering Climate Action
Renewable Energy – Body, Mind, Spirit
Moderator: Sally Ranney StillWater Preservation, LLC.

Mariel Hemingway Mariel’s Kitchen
Christiana Wyly Satori Capital
Jessy Tolkan Energy Action Coalition
Lynne Cherry Author, Film Maker

Thursday, 8/20, 3:30 PM
Know Farmers; Know Food: Local Living Economies
Moderator: Brook Le Van Sustainable Settings

Mariel Hemmingway Mariel’s Kitchen
Judy Wicks BALLE
Michael Bowman 25×25 Nat’l Campaign
Don Smith Smith Algae Biofuels
Woody Tasch Slow Money

events

Manifest Your Soulmate

August 18th, 2009

DATE: Tuesday, August 18, 2009
TIME: 5:00 PM

Manifest Your Soulmate Free Teleconference

Join bestselling author Arielle Ford as she talks with popular author/actress/model Mariel Hemmingway about the best way to manifest your soulmate. In this free 60 minute teleconference presented by DailyOM, you will learn the key steps to manifesting your soulmate, if everyone has a soulmate, if there are more than one for each of us, and what are three things you can do in the coming week to begin putting into practice the principles to move yourself closer to finding your soulmate.

The free teleconference is Tuesday, August 18 at 5:00 PM PT (Los Angeles time).

Visit www.dailyom.com/events/ for details on how to participate for free.

events , ,

My Morning Ritual – Awake and Alive

June 23rd, 2009

For me to be alive and happy I have had to organize my life differently. I had to find time where I would otherwise have been stressing over plans undone or future desires unmet. I have moved into a space where how I wake up becomes the template for a day well lived. I awaken with the sun most days if I have gone to bed early enough the night before. I have realized over years of trying to defy the needs of sleep that rest is the most nurturing and powerful gift I give myself. Sleep heals and rejuvenates my body. It purifies my thoughts and regenerates brain function. It also is helps me defy the aging process to a certain degree…at night my body can fully relax, recharge and reorganize from a day of projects plans and expectations. I have had to learn to sleep. I used to believe that I was more efficient without sleep. I believed that I was more spiritual when I didn’t need much sleep. This has proven to be untrue. I always felt my energy was compromised. Now I get 8 to 9 hours where I used to only get 6. I am so much more at ease now.

I drink water first thing in the morning. I drink a glass of Noah’s water… a natural magnesium spring water that tastes sweet, or O2 Cool… a natural spring water with added oxygen. I sometimes spin the water in an oxygenating spinner which then further oxygenates my cells. I drink one full glass and then another half glass with a tablespoon of Himalayan Sea salt water mixed in… to get the nutrients of good salt… since beginning this practice not all that long ago I feel my immune system boosted. Water is critical to ones good health… good clean water has the ability to get rid of a headache create energy and un-fog your brain especially after a night of dreams and travel.

I then sit in my garden facing the light which is still making its way into a brighter sky. I breath at first natural breaths then variations of breathing that involve retaining air or alternate nostril breathing and sometimes quick breaths. I then rotate my spine while sitting crossed legged… I rotate one way then the other. A few minutes each side… I go up and back with my spine arching and rounding like a cat would do upon awakening. I roll my wrists and arms to find a fluidity of movement and the kinks of sleep get undone. I stand and swing my arms up and down and round and round… I roll my head each way and rotate my shoulders – these movements all to wake my body up to the new day. It can take 10 to 30 minutes depending on how much time I have or what my body needs.

The great joy that comes from the sun peaking over the hills and finding it’s way to my face while the air is still crisp is like being kissed by the Beloved. It says good morning in a way that no other kiss can say. Sometime I will continue and do some yoga postures, like cat cow, sun salutations and more, until I find that I am in a full back bend and the sun is now beating down on my chest and heating every tendon that is now liquid from slow intent motion designed to oil me.

After yoga I may workout… jump rope or lunge… swing kettle bells and do push ups, but the important movement happened slowly and organically and was my morning introduction to the day. Then I sit silently. Bindu, my dog rests in my lap and we both sit with eyes closed or open. I tune into my breath again and I listen. The chirps and buzzing… the call of busy mama birds feeding their chickadees and the racket a squirrel makes when a cat has been found looking nefariously in their direction, ready to pounce. I feel the crisp air turn warm and healing and I feel all my cells activated and I rejoice in all that I am grateful for. This is the way to begin a day. AWAKE, ALIVE and connected to myself and aware that the voice that comes to me as I sit, is my inner guidance… a voice that tells me I am okay and that this new day hold tremendous possibility.

Exercise, Silence, events, journal , , , ,

IdealBite Interview and LA Book Signing

May 12th, 2009

Ideal Bite have posted a quick interview I did with them yesterday as well as announcing a book signing I have coming up in LA. Here is the link to the Ideal Bite post and the info on the book signing is below. If you’re in the Los Angeles area, would love to see you there!

Book-signing event on May 26 from 7-9 pm at Intuition in West LA (10581 W. Pico Blvd). Food will be provided by M Café and proceeds from book sales will benefit the Green Youth Movement Garden School Project.

RSVP to greenyouthmovement@gmail.com.

journal , ,

America and its Food Dilemma

May 9th, 2009

I have just written a new blog for Anderson Cooper’s AC360 on CNN.com entitled America and its Food Dilemma. I’ve included an excerpt below, and you can click on the link to continue reading. Check out the article comments section on CNN.com and join in on the conversation, there have been some really interesting comments posted so far…

Mariel Hemingway
Author, “Mariel’s Kitchen

Let’s be honest with ourselves: America has a weight problem.

Before I go any further, let me say: Weight problems and ensuing poor health are, in part, due to circumstances early on in our lives, a lack of exercise and the fast-paced society in which we live.

I am not saying weight problems are simple and can be explained in a few sentences. But I can say for sure that our society attaches value to speed and convenience – a combination detrimental to our connection with food, nature, ritual and health.

Continue reading

journal , , , , ,

New Book, New Promo Video!

April 6th, 2009